What I finally learned is that the “finished side to the neighbor” rule is mostly tradition dressed up as law. In many places, there is no legal requirement at all—just a long-standing expectation rooted in courtesy and appearance. Some HOAs and municipalities do mandate which side faces the street or a public area, and a few regulate orientation along shared boundaries, but there is no universal standard. Everything depends on where you live, and exactly where that fence sits on the map.
The real turning point isn’t lumber, it’s communication. If the fence is entirely on your property, you usually control its direction. If it’s on the property line, ownership and maintenance become shared—and so should decisions. A short, honest conversation and a simple written agreement can prevent years of resentment. In the end, a well-placed fence helps. A well-kept relationship matters more.